If I am ever abducted by aliens:

I will immediately submit to a full body x-ray and cat scan to ensure that no tags, transmitters, or other forms of graffiti have been planted in my body.
I will find a competent hypnotist to restore any missing memories.
I will make my home downtown in a big city, preferably near an international airport or air force base. Aliens hate that. They like people who live waaaay out in the country by themselves.

Sid, don't forget time in jail for the country singer.
Cat, glad i could make you laugh. I'm enjoying what you guys are coming up with.
Em