That's true--I have only retirees living around me. They don't speak English, so they aren't that nosy, but they do notice everything.

Sid

Nah Cat, a "monster" trying not to be caught shouldn't live in an older residential section of town, the retirees are just as nosy as kids. One would need to live in a neighborhood where all of the families have two jobs and the kids go to day care or have after-school activities.
I don't really watch monster movies, so I don't have anything else to add.

I had hoped that I would be back to posting on the list again by now, but things are still hectic at home. Sorry.
Em

Hmm...

I shall remove all weighty silver candlesticks from my home.
I shall live in the city, where people are unlikely to have wolfsbane growing in their garden. Preferably an older, residential section, where there are no nosy neighborhood children.

I'll see what else I can come up with.

Cat

Yes, I remember that. :) Lol. I haven't seen that in a long time.
You know what I did for two hours today? I reread most of the b-town messages on yahoogroups.

Yes, I was having story trouble, and bored. Although the messages weren't boring at all.

You know, you could do one for werewolves as well...

If I Ever Become a Werewolf:

I will shave my eyebrows so they don't meet in the middle
I will not be caught near the pet aisle in the supermarket
I will not work at a meat processing plant
I will not use flea shampoo
I will have a dog so my neighbors won't get suspicious
or I won't have any neighbors
I will always call in sick when there is a full moon
And I will never change in public
I will not run with the pack
And I will stay far away from chicken farms
I will keep a current calendar so I know when the full moon is, for that matter.
I will never invite people over during the week of the full moon
I will shave regularly.

(Okay, obviously I haven't read that many werewolf stories.)

Sid

Heh. I know this one has made the rounds before, but...

If I Ever Become a Vampire:
I shall wear tweed, and cheerful bright clothing. Further, I shall only wear trenchcoats if it is raining or foggy.
I will not take my victims home. My neighbors are far too nosy.
I will be secure in my immortality. I do not have to share my story with any reporter or struggling writer.
I will not purchase an expensive foreign sports car or motorcycle. An economical, multi-terrain vehicle with 4 wheel drive will be just fine.
I will immediately become Agnostic, disarming any cross-wielding religious maniacs.
I shall not keep a coffin in the basement, that's the first place people look.
I shall immediately purchase a Hooked on Phonics tape, in order to lose any Romanian accents I may have.
My ghouls shall have good posture.
I will purchase a digital watch with an alarm. I will set this alarm for TWO hours before sunrise, giving ample time for traffic and other inconveniences.
If I feel truly alone, and need a companion to share all of eternity with, I shall purchase a dog. Preferably one that is not larger than I am.
If the neighborhood kids are snooping around my house, I will not change into a giant wolf and attempt to destroy them. Instead, I shall call the police and have them arrested for trespassing.
If I believe far too many people are becoming suspicious, I shall not attempt to kill them all. I will simply move, and leave no forwarding address.
There is no logical reason for someone to mistake another human being for a fifteen-foot bat, not even in hysteria. Therefore, I shall refrain from such transformations in public.
Artists are over-emotional and unstable. I shall not keep company with them whatsoever.
I will not attend gatherings of my own kind. If I'm a lethal killing machine, doomed for all eternity to destroy those around me, they probably are too.

Probably not, but that's ok. :) I like it anyway. It will fit in a book somewhere, I'm sure.

Sid

Oh by all means, be my guest. I *can't* be the first person to come up with it.

Cat

Can I use the unlife to live? Please?? Pretty Please??
(Oh, my characters will kill me.)

Sid

Just trying to help... {grin}

Cat

"Remember, you only have unlife to live..." I love it!

LOL!! *snicker* Oh, my. that was greatly horrible!